My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
