eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
