Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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