Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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