The maid of honor just puked.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
