I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
