Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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