yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
