I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
