what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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