So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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