I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
