that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
