You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
