i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
