She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
