we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
