If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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