he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
