i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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