those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
