In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
