She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
