you would pick up someone in the library
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
