apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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