She's JV to your varsity
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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