Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
