why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
