I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pants 0. Shit 1.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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