awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
