Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
