Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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