Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
