I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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