So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
operation harelip BJ is a go
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
