Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
