Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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