we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
