how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
