I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I have demons in me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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