totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
