We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
