Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
