I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
