hotel room ftw
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
