Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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