I just pynch a tree in the face
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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