He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
