i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
