I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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