Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
